I gotta be honest: I was so ready for it. Jake Gyllenhaal as an art critic, saying things like "Critique is so limiting and emotionally draining" for like 3 seasons, across 30 or so episodes. It seemed like it was about to happen, all in the span of 30 seconds on a Netflix trailer for their new film, "Velvet Buzzsaw." Because really, as a society, we don't give enough airtime to pundits and critics! We need more of it. We need Jake Gyllenhaal, Rene Russo, Toni Collette, and John Malkovich in the damn contemporary world, giving us poignant messages about an unregulated market.
SPOLIER ALERT for the next two mintues above. It's not about the life of an art critic. Or maybe ... it is? What started as a critic navigating the art world then turned into that oh-so-lucky-the-upstairs-neighbor-died-and-he-was-a-great-artist-who-was-yet-to-be-found-and-his-work-can-be-manipulated-into-being-sold-for-millions-scenario, that, actually, would be a really great story arc that we swear the old Editor of Juxtapoz had almost wanted to write a screenplay on. But no, the f&#king paintings are haunted. Not like Francis Bacon haunted in that there is something haunting about them, but like, no the robot is going to kill you and human blood on canvas is going to come to life and Hill House you.
To be fair, I can't wait to see it. The tagline of Velvet Buzzsaw: "All art is dangerous." You're goddman right it is. Out February 1st on Netflix.
