“My name is Christian Saint. I am the son of a drunk, womanizing, self-improving Belgium baker, with low-grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a 15-year-old web-footed French prostitute named Chloe. I was raised by Belgians in the town of Bruges. There I was given my first scribe when I was 12-years-old and at the age of 14, a Zoroastrian named Wilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. I spent my summers in Rangoon, took luge lessons, attended the British Intelligence Academy and spent six years in “Evil” Photography School”.