Dear Every Artist and Illustrator Ever,Illustration // Friday, 17 Feb 2012
First off, I would like to genuinely thank everybody that has sent in illustration submissions to Juxtapoz for review. I will occasionally promote a 'Call to Illustrators' encouraging reader submissions but it has just occurred to me that you may have ZERO idea how to go about doing this. So I'm going to do you a favor and write up a quick list to make all of our lives less painful and better your chances for future success, recognition, white tigers and rooftop jacuzzis. You're welcome....
#1 It's important to spell correctly. If you can't remember how to spell Juxtapoz I'm automatically deleting you. Harsh I know, but come on... but please- wake up, pay attention, this is your life.
#2 I hate your enormous, poorly shot photographs of art? Is that a dog? OMG wash your hands!! Archiving is important, presentation is important. Please don't even add attachments. Ok, maybe 1 is ok, if its a reasonable size to give us a teaser but if it takes more than 10 seconds for your email to load, delete. Again, this is your life.
#3 Make it short and sweet. Send a link to your work, say something funny, complement my hair... I'm sure you're deserving and you've worked really hard to get to this point so get your shit together and put up a website! Tumblr is so easy. Behance is cool, Flickr is good too. Deviantart and sites that I can't figure out aren't my favorite, sorry.
#4 Write a bio about yourself and put it on your site. Say something interesting, I mean come on... mystery is cool and I get called an enigma all the time but nobody is out to get you, you're not being watched, quit being so damn weird and paranoid. You're already an artist, face it. Its no secret, be confident.
#5 Have decent sized, well archived work on your site. Make it cohesive, I mean, this is kind of obvious right??
#6 Please don't send more than 1 email or be a jerk. Nobody likes your ego and nobody likes a jerk. Actually I love jerks, but you have to at least be charming, dress well and have good hygiene.
#7 Don't stalk, find personal emails, facebook accts, phone numbers or addresses of people you're trying to submit to. This will most likley make them hate you and block you at every chance they get. Be respectful.
#8 I can't think of anything else. You're welcome. Go get em killer, but first go draw some epic shit. Love ya!
Hannah Stouffer ‘Micro Cosmos’ 20 x 28” ink on paper, for Michael Rosenthal Gallery