Back Talk with Dueling VHSJuxtapoz // Thursday, 13 May 2010
Allowing them their own stage, we present Dueling VHS' responses as they were offered to us in their entirety:
Donald Fenrir “Wolf the Constable” - Docu-Reality subject of Dueling VHS
Wolf’s Bio: Considered the greatest constable in the world, Wolf has dedicated his life to keeping children in school as well as providing some of the finest over night mall security in the country.
According to his mother Francine Fenrir, his father was either a welder or a wrestler. She can’t really remember. Like most children in single parent homes, Wolf took up smoking at the age of 8. The next twenty years or so are foggy at best. One of only a few white children in a predominantly Mexican school, Chapman was beaten up frequently, leading him to drop out and get involved with the proverbial bad crowd. The next 20 years are a blur. Things seem to get a little bit clearer at around the age of 28ish when Wolf found himself incarcerated in an Ocala prison. After his release Wolf was confronted by a difficult issue that most ex-cons face upon release – he was unable to get a job. That situation left him with only one option, become a security guard. After several years in the private security sector Wolf was able to get a job as a crossing guard. Helping children cross the street made him realize that he has a greater purpose on this planet and it was then that he declared himself a constable and refocused his energy on getting kids off the streets and into seats…in the classroom.
Wolf currently lives in Bordentown, NJ and has somewhere in the ballpark of 9 children.
Today, I feel:
Like grabbing some kids…and getting their asses back in class.
If you had three wishes, what would they be?
-I could meet my father, or at least find out who he is. If I had a guess he was probably a professional wrestler.
-Own a Dave and Busters.
-With my last wish…Blue-Ray VHS tapes.
Do you consider yourself a funny person?
My uncle used to say that weak people laugh and even weaker people make them laugh.
If you had one magic power, what would it be?
I don’t even have to think about it. The ability to a swallow a bunch of coins and cough up only the ones I want. It’s like a party trick. I saw a dude do that on TV and was like, that guy definitely gets laid. Wait, is that considered two magical powers? If so, I want a redo. I will choose the magic power of abstinence.
Something that makes you happy?
Hulk Hogan, Slurpees, KFC, huge remote controls, camel toe, strip clubs that allow you to wear hats, dream catchers and whenever a tractor trailer driver honks his horn.
Something that makes you mad?
The Iron Sheik, Spelling bees, and my wives.
What was your favorite subject in elementary school?
I dropped out, but if I stayed I probably would have liked the subjects on America.
If you feel a creative block, what do you do to jumpstart inspiration?
If I have a creative block, I kick everyone out of my truck and take my bluetooths out of my ears. I sit in silence until I begin to drift into an almost dope sick like sweat. That sweat usually triggers images of my youth. Once I am in a child like state and drenched in sweat I leave the truck and shoot paintballs. Eventually, I wake up unable to remember the hours that have past or whatever the problem was that made me get like that in the first place.
When someone is taking a photo, do you smile for the camera or turn your head?
It depends on the precinct.
I do both, kinda like an over the shoulder look. It’s my signature camera pose
Are you a social network enthusiast?
We’re getting totally tubular @ youtube.com/duelingvhs
We’re tweeting the deets @ twitter.com/wolfconstable
We’re in facespace @ facebook.com/duelingvhs
We got a www too @ duelingvhs.com
What is a quality you don’t like about yourself?
Sometimes I wish I wasn’t a pioneer. It makes other people seem so stupid. I also have some really weird sleep walking issues. I once peed in my kids crib. Luckily he slept at his mother’s trailer that night.
Who has had the most impact on your life?
The writers of Karate Magazine, Dr. Phil, Emilio Estevez, my pretend Dad from my dreams, WWE, home shopping guy
Are you spiritual?
That’s what she said…sike. I believe in life, liberty, and the pursuit of those who skip school.
One word to describe your artwork?
Most of my stuff is paint by numbers. I did try my hand at some carving for a while but it all was lost in an apartment fire. Stupid bitch.
What’s missing in your life?
Are you a pet person?
I’m partial to Red Tail Hawks and of course WOLVES!
Is your artwork understood?
I understand you’re probably asking me all this art stuff because of my involvement in the Dueling VHS show. I guess people should know that back in 2007 a television personality that goes by the name of Duane ”Dog the Bounty Hunter” Chapman was audio taped using the N-word in a phone conversation he had with his son. The tape was released to the press and subsequently A&E canceled his program “Dog the Bounty Hunter.”
After A&E cancelled the “Dog” show they went on the look for a similar program to replace it. That is when my career in Television began. I was a town constable in New Jersey and the A&E network produced a pilot show of me and my crew taking down truant kids. The pilot show about me and my adventures “Wolf the constable,” never made it to air. After the press about Dog saying the N-word cooled down they put him back on TV and my show never say the light of day.
Shortly after my show failed a few other television producer fellows approached me to include parts of my pilot into their Dueling VHS Show. The Television business is funny.
The most trouble you’ve ever gotten into:
I can show you a picture that would blow your mind, or I can show you a tape that will make you cry. That’s all I’m gonna say about that.
Where do you imagine yourself in five years?
In outer space or Phoenix, AZ…some place dry. I sweat a lot so I need dry heat.