Dear everyone,
If our beautiful relationship is to stay intact, there are a few things I think you should know about this weekend…
First…


I'm not sure if God vomited a specific pattern of golden bile atop the clouds along the path in the sky through northern California and Oregon, but hopefully He did, and hopefully those clouds are illuminating GOLD so I can follow those sons of bitches up to the Emerald City to hang with the Wizard and look at some comic books. It's been a while since I have had the pleasure of going to a comic convention and saying hi to this guy:

But that's exactly what I'm doing…kind of:)
This upcoming Saturday, I am taking a quick and whimsy plane ride up to Seattle to get some coffee, try to read some poetry with Kurt Cobain's ghost, and visit the EMERALD CITY COMIC CON.
I will be appearing/signing/meeting you beautiful souls on Saturday, March 13, from 1-3 at the Zerofriends Booth (#909) at the convention. I won't be there Sunday, as I have to get back to California and tend my beet farm with Dwight Schrute who is in town this weekend, but Zerofriends will have a booth there with all of our regular fun stuff. And since we always like to have at least one new release at each show, and since I don't have the power to "release the Krakken" like I want to, we are going to be releasing a new limited print of my recent painting, "The Zookeper's Secret".
Here is the info on the con, my magical appearance, and the print release:
What: EMERALD CITY COMICON Where: Washington State Convention Center, SEATTLE, WA When: March 13-14 Why: Because comics still rule. Not comics like Dane Cook. Real ones. Like Batman 'n shit. What part 2: I will be signing at the Zerofriends booth #909 on Saturday, March 13th from 1-3. What part 3: Zerofriends, on top of having a ton of other products, will be releasing this dandy new limited edition print, "The Zookeeper's Secret":



"The Zookeeper's Secret"
By Alex Pardee
Limited Edition of 100
22" x 17" Printed with archival inks on Velvet Cotton Rag.
Signed & numbered by Alex Pardee
$45.00

A little detail of the duckface:

And here is the story of "The Zookeeper's Secret":
There isn’t a zoo within 100 miles of my house, but somehow, my neighbor, a middle-aged, Warcraft-obsessed hermit named Lyle, insists he’s a zookeeper, yet I’ve never seen him leave his house for longer than an hour. When I confront him about this, he just laughs and tells me a mundane story about how a snake got into the Koala cage, or how a kid pretended to be a monkey and threw his own shit all over the gift shop floor. But his favorite stories always revolve around this secret animal that he, along with the zoo scientists, are studying profusely until they have enough info to reveal it to the world. Some kind of underwater rabbit that can breathe both on land and while submerged. He calls it a Swimbit, but he says that’s just a “code word”. Lately there’s been a problem with the Swimbit. It seems that a sore on its torso has actually grown and morphed into a visible parasite, complete with arms, legs, and “the devil in its eyes”. The parasite is clearly sucking the creatures blood, Lyle told me, mixing it with its own, and spitting the plasma back into the Swimbit’s bloodstream. Lyle said he tried to remove the parasite but failed. The swimbit is dying, but you couldn’t tell from the look on his face. Lyle says it has less than a week to live. But the parasite, on the other hand, might end up destroying the world.

Now, secondly….
Along the same coast (that may or may not break off into the Pacific Ocean within a few years according to THIS GUY), I will have a piece in the Mo'Nique-sized HI-FRUCTOSE MAGAZINE'S 5th ANNIVERSARY ART SHOW! Too many rad artists to name so I suggest you just follow a DIFFERENT golden brick road down to LA and go check this out:

Info: 5th Anniversary of Hi-Fructose Magazine
Saturday, March 13th, At CoproGallery
Bergamot Station
2525 Michigan Ave. T5
Santa Monica, CA

Here is the piece that I did for it. It's a 3 parter, documenting my 3rd favorite (not so famous) mythical beast, the UNIRKEY:


Detail of the main painting:


Concept sketch from the first time I saw a Unirkey:


And finally, the little-known story of the Unirkey (which also comes framed with the other 2 pieces):
"If the X-men were real, my Grandfather's Great-Great Uncle Randy would certainly be a part of the team. Instead of being a cool super mutant though, he's just kind of a...well...mutant. He suffers from a disease that allows him to age, but doesn't allow him to die. At all. He looks kinda like how the guy at the end of Indiana Jones looks when he chooses poorly, except for like, he's alive. And awesome. I don't see Uncle Randy much anymore as he seems to like going to Egypt a lot since he says he fits in there better and gets to play funny pranks on tourists where he lays down in sarcophaguses and then jumps up and scares people. He's hilarious.  One of my favorite stories that Uncle Randy used to recite to me when I was little was about his third favorite mystical creature, the Unirkey. He said that in 1621, the Pilgrims begged the Heavens for a turkey big enough for the 53 of them to feast upon to celebrate their harvest. To their disbelief, a 240 pound wild turkey fell from the sky right onto the serving platter on the middle of the giant dinner table. "GET IT!" yelled the head pilgrim. But the turkey was too quick. It clawed its way off of the table and soon had a band of hungry pilgrims chasing it into a small patch of forest. Little did anyone know, a once-in-a-lifetime event was happening in the forest at that very moment: A 6-eyed Unicorn who lived behind the rainbows was bathing in a waterfall in plain sight. The unicorn sensed the fear in the giant turkey from the sky, and acted accordingly. The unicorn exploded out of the waterfall, ducked his neck down, swooped up the turkey, flung him onto his own back, and galloped straight through the band of Pilgrims, piercing almost all of them with it's majestic horn. After the Unicorn bolted into the sunset, no one heard from, saw, or mentioned that incident again. Until years later, in the middle of the same patch of forest, on Thanksgiving, behind the waterfall, someone saw something. It was giant. It resembled a turkey...but with six eyes...and a breathtaking horn. And it seemed to be....glowing. When the man approached the magical beast it had vanished. More sightings were reported behind waterfalls all over the world over the years, all occurring on Thanksgiving. Rumor has it that the giant turkey and the unicorn were quite smitten with each other, and that this mystical Unirkey is their love-child. But what does it want? And where will it strike (a pose) next? No one knows, but if I were you, I would pay close attention to any form of flowing water on Thanksgiving, as you might be in for a surprise." So yah…umm, that was a lot to take in. Sorry. Don't worry, I'll have more tomorrow. For serious. Goodnight. PS. My puppy just pissed on my couch. Damn. Damn. Damn. Gross.

6 years ago I was first contacted to become the art director for The Used. One of the first things we collaborated on was a new logo for them. After bouncing a ton of ideas back and forth like a 5 person game of art-pong, we decided on a good direction and their new logo was born. This one:


As many of you have seen this before, this has been a staple icon for The Used for over 5 years, and I couldn't be more proud to have something that I designed represent them so steadily for that long. Now grab your rotary phone, call up Ol' Crazy Doc Brown, scoop up your Valterra skateboard, jump in your Delorian and set the date to March 1, 2010. Last week I got the chance to catch up with the guys, and we all agreed that so many things have changed in all of us over the course of those 5 years, that it was time for a little remodeling. More specifically, in the Heart Department. Once again, we played creative ping-pong for a few days and then, just like old times, decided on a good direction and I went off and ran naked through a field of sketching. And the final result is a nice little rebirth of the old logo. So here it is, my new updated logo for The Used:


And for an evolution of the old and the new, here they are holding hands:

And lastly part 1, a little detail:

And lastly part 2, the original really rough concept sketch:

Word. Oh, and it looks like you can already buy a shirt with this new logo on it ONLINE AT THE USED'S MERCH STORE!

Good morning, lovers. In celebration of our favorite day of the year, Tuesday, February 23, Zerofriends is kicking off this magical day with a new interactive contest full of blood and slow-motion. But first, let's take a look at what makes Feb 23rd so awesome: Feb 23, 1455: Johannes Gutenberg prints 1st book, The Bible Feb 23, 1886: London Times publishes its first classified ad. Craigslist is a close second 110 years later. Feb 23, 1940: Walt Disney releases "Pinocchio". Old men all over the world fantasize about secretly building a little boy. Feb 23, 2003: John Mayer finally wins a Grammy! SO RAD! Ok, now that you know why we love Feb 23 more than any other date in history, let's get on to the contest!
Please read everything carefully!
As you may or may not have seen, Stephen Reedy (director of ">"The Winter Stalker") directed a fun Zerofriends commercial for us a few weeks ago called "BLOODBATH", which you can watch (if you haven't already, right beneath this colon:


If that doesn't show up, you can view it at this direct link here:

NOW, here is where you need to really start paying attention. Using the same exact footage from the original "Bloodbath" video, Stephen Reedy & Jenn Horvath remixed the shit out of it and gave it a completely different happy feeling! Watch:

Direct link to view video:

So what does this have to do with you or the contest? Well, here are your answers and information:
I present the Zerofriends "BLOODBATH REMIX" Contest:) Object: Use the same exact, uncut video footage that Stephen used to create the original "Bloodbath" commercial to create a new, fun, original Zerofriends commercial to spread around like cream cheese.
Official rules of the contest:
1. Download the original, uncut Quick Time files for use in the contest HERE
Direct link to download files: http://www.megaupload.com/?d=F8NHFMQX
2. Play around with the video footage using anything you have access to. Add sound, music, voice-overs, narration, graphics. Make it funny, scary, musical, graphical...color it, conjure up your inner Michel Gondry, do ANYTHING YOU WANT, just make it awesome. You don't have to use all the clips. In fact, if you only use 1 clip, that's alright. The only restriction is that you make sure it's a commercial for Zerofriends.com. 3. Upload your video to your own YouTube channel, and post it as a RESPONSE to the original "BLOODBATH" video. To assure that we do see the video, you should additionally email the direct link to your video on YouTube to zerofriendsconstests@gmail.com 4. The deadline for submissions is Sunday, March 7, 2010. The winners will be notified via email and announced on Friday, March 12, 2010. 5. PRIZES:
Grand Prize: $250 Gift Certificate to Zerofriends.com (Or to our Retail Store in NY). Three Runners up: $50 Gift Certificate to Zerofriends.com (Or to our Retail Store in NY). How to win: Grand Prize winner will be OUR FAVORITE video, plain and simple. We will be judging SOLELY on CREATIVITY. Nothing else. Not quality of equipment used, or on the amount of time and money you spend on it. Simply creativity. That's what we love and that's what we are. The Three Runners Up will be chosen based on VIEWS. The 3 top highest-viewed videos will be awarded the runners up prize. That means you should pimp out your video as much as possible!

SO GO GET CREATIVEEEEEEE. More importantly, have fun. Word.

Just got back from the Inglourious Basterds Charity Opening at Upper Playground LA and had, what we astronauts call "a blast". I got counseling, comfort, (and cupcakes) from Eli Roth in regards to my rocky relationship with Creepshow, shared horrendous bathroom experience stories with Dave Choe and Mickey Avalon, one-arm-hugged Danny "Machete" Trejo, formed a rap group with Omar Doom and Samm Levine, became jealous of James Jean's hair in addition to his skills, gave terrible advice to everyone I met, missed Nicole, got yelled at by a homeless Samuel L Jackson clone, met a bunch of fans and some artists I have been wanting to meet for a long time (Patrick Martinez, Munk One & Estevan Oriel) locked my car in a parking structure, and re-enacted the scene in True Lies with the horse. I can't thank everyone enough for supporting the art, the film, and the cause. I had a camera, but as usual I was too nervous to take it out of my pocket so I ended up stealing some pics from the internets to share with you. If you have any pics, let me know where to see them:) See you soon, you Basterds. And PS, a huge thank you to Quentin Tarantino, The Weinstein Co, Upper Playground and Red Cross for putting this event together. Let's do another one.

The line outside was huge all day.
Dave Choe and I. We used to watch Dawson's Creek together. Can you tell?

Signing my posters right before the event at SA Studios / Home of Mr. Cartoon & Estevan Oriel.
With Basterds Producer Lawrence Bender and The Bear Jew, himself, Eli Roth, who was actually just hilarious on Chelsea Lately last night, so watch that shiz here:
(Personal note which makes this ultra-cool: Eli Roth directed one of my top 5 favorite horror movies of all time, Cabin Fever, which is perfect and I will argue until I lose my voice if you think otherwise. The end.

Artist Dave Correia, director Stephen Reedy, DANNY FUCKING TREJO, myself, and writer Damon Alcorn.

The guy on the left waited since 10 AM and was the first person to pick up my poster. THANK YOU!!!
Me, Estevan Oriel & Dave Choe, discussing the best way to kill a man.
3 X Dope. The rap group re-united. Me, Omar Doom, & Samm Levine, both who were super rad to chill with.

One more of Mr. Roth and I, as Mark Borchart instructed us, "being aloof."

Dave Correia got post-apocolyptic head while were there. Fun.

"...and through our cruelty they will know who we are."
- Lt. Aldo Raine, "Inglourious Basterds"



I've been sitting on a throne of Nazi secrets....kinda. One of the most fun, most intricate, and digitally-bloodiest projects I've worked on in a while has finally been unveiled (above). SA Studios Global's Film Marketing Division has teamed up with Quentin Tarantino, 12 Artists, Upper Playground and The Weinstein Company to present, "THE LOST ART OF INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS". And I am lucky enough to be one of those Basterds. The above print, along with 11 other ultra-limited (ONLY EDITIONS OF 6!) prints, signed by Quentin Tarantino, will be exhibited this Thursday, Feb 18th At The Upper Playground Art Gallery in LA from 6-9 PM. Here is the press release and info about the show and the charity involved, and below is some of my personal thoughts and details about the piece, which is easily my favorite art I have created in years.


BENEFIT ART PROGRAM TO HELP RAISE MONEY FOR THE VICTIMS OF THE HAITI EARTHQUAKE

SA Studios Global's Film Marketing Division has teamed up with Quentin Tarantino, Upper Playground and The Weinstein Company to present, THE LOST ART OF INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS.

On February 18th, 2010 from 6p - 9p the world will get to preview and purchase the “Lost Art of Inglorious Basterds” at The Upper Playground Art Gallery in Downtown Los Angeles. All proceeds from this program will be donated to The American Red Cross to help the victims of the Haiti Earthquake.

This creative team has assembled the following select group of accomplished artists, David Choe, Sam Flores, Estevan Oriol, Grotesk, Jeremy Fish, Patrick Martinez, Alex Pardee, Dora Drimalas, Munk One, N8 Van Dyke, Rene Alamanza, Morning Breath and Skinner Davis, to create their own poster art based off their interpretation of the Oscar Nominated film, “Inglourious Basterds” artwork.
Each print will be numbered and signed by Quentin Tarantino. Only six (6) of each amount will be made.
The gallery will open will be open to the general public from 6p – 9p on Thursday February 18th, 2010 at Upper Playground Los Angeles located at 125 East 6th Street in Downtown LA. Attendees will have the opportunity to purchase the limited edition prints for $300. The prints are only available for purchase at Upper Playground, Los Angeles. Phone orders and web orders will not be accepted. Prints will be sold on a first come, first serve basis. The purchase of prints will be limited to one per buyer.
You can view all of the other posters HERE!
Direct link to see all posters:
http://upperplayground.com/feature/story/inglourious_basterds_the_lost_art_of_the_film_217

And now on to my ranting about the piece... From start to finish, working on a "Basterds" image was easily the most fun I have had creating art in years. And because of that, it was one of the most time consuming. The image I chose to create depicts, in simple terms, a vengeful Jewish-American slicing the neck of a Nazi soldier. However, every aspect of the composition, subject matter, and execution of the art was carefully planned out and all of elements fit perfectly within Tarantino's "Basterds" universe. I chose to personify the Jewish-American soldier as a Bald Eagle not only because the Eagle is one of the most symbolic icons used in representing the United States, but the soldier, as a victim of Naziism, has been transformed from a humble man into a vengeful "bird of prey". In addition, with the Jewish population becoming the victims of an impending Genocide before and during WW2, in a way, Jewish citizens were, as a whole, becoming and "endangered species", much like the Bald Eagle. The Nazi soldier is depicted, simply, as a Demon, complete with green skin and "blonde" horns. Upon slicing the next of the Demon, gallons and gallons of monstrous, hate-filled blood pours out, revealing and representing years of anti-semitism, oppression, and a distaste for "parasitic races" (a term used to define other races by the Nazis, and the inspiration for the gore to resemble parasites). The Swastika appearing in the blood is simply a representation that this execution encompasses the whole Nazi regime, not just the one individual demon. Though the backdrop of the film is World War 2, I created a more intimate composition between 2 characters rather than a large scale epic war scene because Tarantino's film is a much more character-driven film with smaller, more intimate encounters and conversations. However, we CAN see the Paris skyline in the background, as well as a small flag being waved in the distance, most likely a Nazi flag as the Nazis have occupied France during this time. And if you look closely, the sky is filling with more eagles, foreshadowing that the Nazi's reign may be coming to an end soon.
Here are some random detail and in progress shots of the piece, as I seriously wanted this to be the most detailed piece I've ever done. Don't know if I succeeded, but I had fun. Now that I think about it, that's probably how Jamie Kennedy describes his career. Cool, I finally have something in common with him:)
Anyway, check out the details, check out the other posters, and come down tot he show if you are in LA. I will be there drinking root beer and floating around so say whattup! word.





During the original sketch phase, I wanted to make the Jewish-American more of a humanoid wearing a makeshift Eagle costume, but it made more sense to just go ahead and make him an actual eagle.